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What women want.

AUGUST 21, 2013

You have to read this

By Bruno F. Fernandes

close up of a girl's face I recently thought about writing an article for guys, on how to train with girls. But I did not know where to start, so I decided to just ask them.

The original title would be 10 tips on how to train with female teammates, or something like that. I assumed that there would be plenty of things that we did wrong. It turned out that women have very simple needs, so the article ended up being a lot shorter. If you don’t agree with any of the tips below, let me remind you: it came from straight from themselves so you better listen. ;)

Proper grooming. Personal hygiene goes a long way. Take a shower if you need to BEFORE class. A light perfume would not hurt either. Come properly shaved and with your nails cut. Women may notice it more, but this tip is a sign of respect towards everyone.

Mind your strength and weight. If you have not noticed yet, they are lighter and weaker than you. Women know it and they are not there to prove otherwise. Grade your strength to who you are training with. See it as an opportunity to use less force and more skills.

Drop your ego. Girls are weaker than boys. But that does not mean that they cannot beat you. If you have never rolled with a girl who can challenge you, you have not trained long enough. BJJ is made to empower a weaker opponent to dominate a larger one. So if you happened to be submitted by a woman, accept it gracefully. It happens all the time, and not only with you.

Take them seriously. Girls are there to learn just as much as you are. Don’t be reluctant to train with them. When on the mats, they don’t expect to be treated as a fragile lady. There is no need to go all in, but don’t be overly gentle either. They HATE when men are just too careful and let them do anything. They want to train hard, just don’t want to get hurt. Find a happy middle.

Just roll. I am sorry to disappoint you, but a woman does NOT join a BJJ School to get a guy, but to learn the gentle art instead. Be respectful and don’t even try to make a move (no pun intended). Your chances are slim.

It takes a lot guts for a girl to enter a BJJ school and decide to learn a sport largely dominated by men (so far). Admire their courage. Consider a girl teammate like a little brother but give them the same respect as you’d give to a man.

So there it goes. Inside (and outside) the gym, to know what women want all you need is to listen to them. Thanks for the input and for loving the sport as much as we do!